If I could save time in a bottle

Greetings to all of you who dare invest your precious time reading my meek reflections on life.

Firstly, I’d like to apologize for not having published anything for the past four months. Life has been busy—very busy. My days went by fast. My weeks slipped through my hands like dry sand. I observe the grasp of my time growing tighter, shrinking. I gaze upon these grains—boring, repetitive, redundant, some ugly, stained, corrupt—but many appear like diamonds, rubies, emeralds. Yet whether a grain is blessed with beauty or reeks of a beastly ugliness, they all share the same destiny: escaping from my hand, captured by the wind of time. Most grains of sand fly away, lost forever. Yet a few, heavier ones fall nearby, so I may still contemplate their beauty. And so I smile, as the ocean breeze caresses my face, catching a glimpse of the beauty of what has been—and will never be again.

That was a weird introduction. It’s an adaptation from a poem I wrote on the shortness of life. I tried to describe how fast life passes, how I just can’t stop it. Even when I try to pause, take a deep breath, and truly appreciate the wonderful adventures I’ve been on, they still fly away. I have to squint to see those grains, but they fall amid so many others that cloud my sight. I hate this condition of mine—or perhaps I should say ours, as I believe many of us fall prey to this frustrating scheme of life.

I want to remember my days. The small moments. That really warm hug. That random message that arrived at the perfect moment. That brain spasm while eating a delicious meal. That loud laughter after a (probably not mine) joke. And the big ones too: all the emotions of an adventure, a graduation, a long-awaited retreat, a wedding. (Falling in love? Just kidding, that hasn’t happened yet.) And yet, all these memories—with their little details and vibrant emotions—are destined to merely be named, stained by the fog of our faulty brains, never to be felt again in the same way.

Despite this somewhat melancholic prelude, I’d like to share some memories from the first half of 2025—Life to the Max—the beauty and the ugly, along with some of the most important lessons learned. This is mostly for me, but maybe it’ll be fun to get a glimpse of what “Life to the Max” really looks like. :)

Beautiful that way

I started the year facing a tough exam session. I felt confident in the beginning, but after my first exam, everything went downhill—with four failures. Thankfully, I did get two perfect scores. During this time, I also began having sleep issues, which affected both my mental and physical health and kept me from performing at my best.

Meanwhile, I traveled quite a bit: Paris, Sofia, Prague (twice), Tallinn, Trieste (three times), Bardonecchia, Amsterdam, and Elba. Each trip had its own special reason—like a climbing World Cup in Prague (a dream since I started climbing), a church retreat, teaching conferences, visiting friends and family, and so on. These were all incredibly pleasant trips—enriched by new friendships, deeper connections, lots of laughter, an abundance of beauty, and, of course, delicious food. In contrast to all this goodness, the health struggles I mentioned above weighed on me emotionally and mentally.

In everyday life, some best friends moved away, new ones moved to Milan, a close friend got married, and others graduated. I endured romantic disappointments and broken friendships, but also formed new bonds and deepened others. I taught several times—sometimes even got paid, which still surprises me.

This semester I’ve taken spectacular courses like Fission Reactor Physics and Solid State Physics. I train calisthenics six times a week and climb occasionally. I delight in cooking, having friends over, going to parties, organizing events, spending time with my family, and more.

Clearly, I’ve lived a full and incredibly good year—but it hasn’t been without difficulty. I set out to grow in specific areas like communication, which has long needed my attention. My progress has been slow. I’ve often felt stuck, even witnessing firsthand the damage poor communication can cause—followed by a heavy sense of shame and regret that’s hard to shake.

Until recently, I also battled a deep sense of failure—as if most of my pursuits were failing—and felt that everything I was doing was meaningless. (Things have improved a lot.) I also have a tendency to magnify the negative instead of the positive, which made some relationship disappointments feel bigger than they were. Slowly losing my grandparents—even though we aren’t very close—still has its weight.

This is Life to the Max: a full life. Full of adventure, delicious food, amazing people, exciting sports, various endeavors, lots of learning, and lots of emotions—still untamed, often not positive, and exacerbated by my restlessness and health struggles. But looking at it all—accepting my humanity, knowing that through perseverance I will do better—I recognize that I am extraordinarily more blessed than cursed. My life is beautiful that way.

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Crucify your mind

Here are a few things I’ve learned during the first half of the year. I’ve written about most of them in my newsletters (some not yet published), but learning the lessons goes beyond writing about them. There are many, but I’ll limit myself to one takeaway per month (+ a few extra quotes for reflection):

January – “Let a single ray of sunlight fill you, and you will always find satisfaction in all circumstances.”

The ability to control our perspective, to be satisfied with small things—this is the sign of a peaceful heart. It allows us to see life’s vibrant colors, even during hard times. Easier said than done.

February – “We see reality through the lens of our brain.”

Obvious, yet rarely understood. Our brain is constantly telling us stories—about what’s happening outside and inside. Often, they’re wrong and dangerous: This comfort will ease my pain. I’m a failure because I didn’t succeed. I’ll never be loved because my crush doesn’t like me. That person is a monster ( because I’m projecting past trauma onto them). 

Be skeptical of your brain. Try to truly understand why it is telling you something- or that thing—especially through your strongest emotions and recurring thoughts.

March – “Anything you do, give it your max.” & “There is no tomorrow.”

Pun intended. We often do things halfway—because we’re lazy, distracted, or waiting for the “right” moment. We take wonderful pursuits for granted, sabotaged by our phones, poor sleep, lack of purpose, and lack of urgency. Make the most of what you’re doing now.

April – “Rest, otherwise you will only enjoy life’s zest.”

I’ve struggled with restlessness for years. My ambition, enthusiasm for life, thirst for meaning, and pride have pushed me to live life to the fullest—but sometimes beyond my limits. Learning to truly rest is helping me avoid burnout and exhaustion as a lifestyle. To fully enjoy life, rest is essential. Sounds basic, but many of us have no idea how to do it (hint: no phone).

May – “Learn how to communicate, and you will have access to the hearts and minds of people.”

Communication is one of the most important skills to learn. It’s obvious, and yet it’s often ignored. We are wired for connection, and most of our struggles and successes come down to communication. Learn to communicate—and to understand how others communicate—and great relationships can follow (and the opposite is true, which is what I experienced these months, yay).

June – “Perseverance will triumph over hardship.”

I managed to turn around some of my “failures” (though they weren’t truly failures—I just have high standards), especially in my university life and friendships. In February, I was ready to give up—not just on that. But perseverance brought abundant blessings, especially in wisdom, character growth, problem solving and emotional control.

I encourage you to think about your year so far. Smile at the blessings you have been gifted by life, and meditate on what you’ve learned

Final words

Again, I’m sorry I haven’t published anything lately. I still don’t have much free time—summer is full of adventures. So far in July, I’ve gone to Amsterdam for my beloved brother’s graduation, explored the gorgeous island of Elba with 10  brothers and sisters (love you guys!), traveled to Trieste, passed all my exams, and now I’m headed to a two-week spiritual camp in Switzerland, both as a counselor and a camper. And that’s just July (and a bit of August)!

I’ll try to publish the newsletters I haven’t yet (they’re written, collecting digital dust). I’m considering whether to continue this project as it is, reorient it, or put it on pause for a bit—or maybe even bring it to a full stop. I’m really tired. My life is great, but with the health challenges, spiritual wrestling, emotional exhaustion, and doing so many things, without having quite figured out how to properly recharge myself, this newsletter (the reading behind it mostly) is just a bit too much.

To all of you who’ve encouraged me to keep publishing: thank you. :)

Songs that inspired the chapters of this newsletter:

• If I Could Save Time in a Bottle – Jim Croce

• Beautiful That Way – Noa *(inspired by La Vita è Bella)

• Crucify Your Mind – Rodriguez

PS: Do you like the new format of the newsletter? or better before?